


The Newcomer (The Repository)

by springhorton



Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Comedy, Fluff, M/M, Mash-up, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 11:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5584273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springhorton/pseuds/springhorton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years ago, Richard Hammond and James May were going about their lives; presenting Top Gear, buying up homes and cars, living single (this is an AU after all) interesting lives. Then, one morning, they both woke in a strange, desert bleakness known as The Repository. With no idea how they got there or how to get home, they had to make do and learn to survive. For years, they seemed to be the only people around, but now other people begin to appear; some of them just as strange as the location they've been forced to call home. Soon they will find themselves facing challenges much more life threatening, though no less hilarious, than those on their former motoring show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of a longer one called The Repository. I'll probably add all of it here at some point. It will include more original characters as well as Neil Gaiman's Croup and Vandemar. Also, as I mentioned before, this is an AU, not only in the story itself, but back in the Top Gear world as well. The changes are limited mostly to Richard Hammond having been single and I decided to do it AU fashion because I would never mess with the completely awesome family he has in this reality.

“James,” a Birmingham accent rang through the still, desert air. 

“Hammond,” came the answer.

“James!”  
At the bottom of a mountainous sand dune, James May rolled his eyes; a gesture largely masked by the goggles that covered most of his face, but no one was there to see it anyway. “Hammond!” he shouted back.

Richard Hammond, having lost his patience quite a while ago, continued climbing up the side of the dune and yelled out, “James, where the hell are you?”

“I’m at the base of the next dune, you moron,” he answered, not even bothering to raise his voice since it was clear Richard wasn’t listening anyway. 

Finally, a small head, crowned with a straw cowboy hat, popped up at the top of the dune. After a few more feet, Richard stopped to catch his breath and looked down. “Oh there you are. I’ve been calling for you for, like, five minutes,” he said once he’d made his way down.

“Yes and I’ve been answering you for just as long,” James retorted.

“Have you? I didn’t hear you.”

“Clearly. Perhaps it’s because you still have your earplugs in from the sandstorm.”

“Wha? Oh! Yeah, I do.” With a smile, Richard took the ear plugs out and put them in the pocket of his tattered shirt. Then he whipped off his hat, scratched his head and wrinkled his nose. “You know, it’s a wonder we haven’t killed each other out here.”

“It’s because the sex is so great,” James said and it was so deadpan that Richard immediately burst into laughter. Soon, they were both laughing, but their merriment was cut short by a loud thud, like something very heavy hitting the sand behind the dune Richard had just trudged over. 

The two of them had been stuck in the desert for a long time now. How long, they didn’t know, but they knew enough to be cautious. They knew they weren’t alone and not everyone they’d come across during their five years in the Repository had been friendly. Still, it’s not like they had much choice. 

“The dune buggy’s over there,” Richard pointed out. 

“Yes,” James acknowledged. “And all of our supplies.”

“So…I guess we have to check it out.”

“Yes.” For a moment, the two of them only stood there and then, with a sigh, began to hike back up the shifting sand as quietly as they could. Once at the top, James peeked over. Their much repaired and hardly recognizable Land Rover sat quietly with no sign of any intruders. Then he noticed a sparking sound and squinted further at the horizon. A moment later, he ducked back down next to Richard. “There’s definitely someone out there, but they’re just lying there.”

“What’s that noise?”

“I don’t know, but it sounds mechanical. I think they’re hurt or something,” he added as he peeked over the sand dune again.

“So, you think we can take them if we need to?” When James only frowned at him, he added, “Should be sneak over or maybe just run at them, yelling like mad men?”

“Come on,” James answered, exasperated by the smaller man’s unending exuberance. “How about we just walk over.”

They’d learned long ago that the desert wasn’t nearly as empty as it looked. Fearing a trap, they finally settled on driving the Land Rover, even if it wasn’t very far. They knew that the body in the sand may have been a decoy to distract them while someone else stole their stuff. They stopped a little bit away on what was a flat, rockier area. The person hadn’t moved as they drove, but now the sparking sound was louder. They cautiously climbed out, their only weapons being spears they’d fashioned out of their last car’s anti-roll bar, and slowly crept toward the body. 

What they saw was a man who looked like he was in some kind of fancy dress. He wore a top hat and a velvet coat, but as they drew closer, a small squeak left Richard Hammond’s mouth. The sparking was coming from the unconscious man’s arm, which had been ripped from his shoulder.

“Bloody hell! That man’s a robot!” Richard yelled.

“Thank you, Richard Asimov, I can see that,” James growled back.

Before the two could argue further, the robot’s eyes flew open and Richard let out a proper squeal of terror, much to James’ annoyance.

The robot sat up and looked the two men over. This had the effect of producing another squeal from Richard and he moved, ever so slightly, behind James. In turn, James simply cursed at the heavens and then turned his attention back to the newcomer. 

“Um, hello,” he tried hesitantly. 

The robot grabbed his hat and then realized, as he tried putting it on, that something was wrong. He glanced to his other side and saw his left arm still lying in the sand. He sighed deeply and mumbled, “Wonderful.” Then he turned back to the two nervous men and asked, “Could you help me up. I seem to have...malfunctioned.”

“Malfunctioned?” Richard repeated with a laugh. “Mate, your whole arm’s come off.” He suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be scared and his smile faltered, but the amazingness of what he was seeing had finally sunk in. “This is brilliant,” he said and offered a hand to the struggling robot. 

Once they were all standing, James carefully picked up the sparking arm and looked it over. Then he said, “Do you have a name?”

“I am a Generation Four Humanoid Synthetic,” the robot answered flatly. 

For a moment the two men only stared at him and then James said, “We’ll call you Gen.”

“Yes, Gen,” Richard seconded.

Gen cocked his head and said, “If you prefer.”

“Yes,” the two answered in unison. 

“And who are you?” Gen asked.

“Oh,” Richard said with a charming smile. “You don’t recognize us. James May,” he said, pointing to his colleague, “and Richard Hammond,” he added, pointing at himself.  
When Gen only stared blankly, Richard cleared his throat and quietly added, “We had a motoring show once. Uh, nice to meet you.”

“Yes,” James drolled, resisting the urge to smack his tiny boyfriend on the back of the head. 

Gen smiled, which caused an eerie sensation to go up and down James and Richard’s spines. 

“Are you…supposed to do that?” Richard hesitantly asked.

“What?” Gen questioned.

“Smile like that.”

Gen thought back to his past and the smile dropped. He wondered where these men were from and speculated that they may even have been from another time than his own. Perhaps they didn’t even know about the Generation Four Synthetic model. So, he thought a lesson may be in order. “Actually, gentlemen, I am programmed with adaptive emotional capabilities. My subroutines were designed to be as human as possible, not just to mimic simple behavioural responses.”

For a moment, Richard only looked back and forth between James and Gen and then turned to James and said, “What did he say?”

“Yes, he’s supposed to do that.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Richard take the robot, Gen, into their care and warn him of the possible dangers that lie ahead.

The three of them walked back to the desert weary Land Rover, Gen trailing behind and looking a little worse for wear himself. “Is your dwelling around here?” he asked as he manuevered himself into the back seat with his remaining arm.

“It’s not far,” James answered from the passenger seat.

“And do you happen to have any tools?”

Richard, who was just about to start the old boy up, put his hands on the wheel and said, “Ah.” He turned and glanced at the detached arm Gen was holding up. “I’m afraid that tools for something like that might be hard to come by, mate.”

“We could try the city,” James said cautiously.

His colleague gave him a wary look, but before he could answer Gen cut in. “Where’s the city?”

“It’s a few miles from here,” Richard answered. “You’ll see.”

Once the Land Rover sputtered into life, they drove in silence across the vast, arid landscape. Gen glanced around the vehicle curiously. It reminded him of something out of an old film he’d once heard about. He’d noticed the makeshift shovel on the front as he was climbing inside and assumed it was to move sand. He could see the controls for it from where he was sitting. Along with that, the canopied bed in the back had been replaced by a steel cage with all the necessities of survival inside. 

“It serves as a makeshift tent,” James called back.

“Yeah, one that nothing can get into,” Richard added.

As they crested a hill, the path flattened out and the sand gave way to bedrock. Up ahead was the cliff’s edge and they stopped a safe distance from it. Then they climbed out and Gen was led to the top of the rise. He glanced at James and Richard who were looking over, before peering over the edge himself. Below them was the remains of what had been a small city. The buildings still stood, but they looked as if no one had been there for decades. Glass was broken out of windows, the streets crumbling and what little vegetation there was had taken over. 

“There’s food down there, and shelter,” James pointed out.

“When we first got here, it was actually kind of fun,” Richard chuckled. “We tried living in different houses and, uh, shopping in different stores. Everyone was gone, had been for a long time.”

“About two years ago, though, we suddenly realized we weren’t alone,” James added. “A crashing sound woke us up one night. We thought it might an animal; there are some around here, but then we heard more movement and then shouting. We could see flames and whoever they were, they were getting closer. We packed up what we could and took the Land Rover into the desert.”

“Who are they?” Gen asked.

“Don’t know,” Richard said with a shrug. “They only seem to come out at night.”

“Like vampires,” James pointed out.

“Or zombies.”

“Yes. This could be the zombie apocalypse. We just don’t know.” When Gen only stared at them blankly, they burst into a fit of laughter. James finally composed himself and said, “Sorry, it’s been awhile since we’ve had anyone else to talk to.


End file.
